Still I Hear This Calling, Still You Don’t Seem So Far At All..
I got the letter today. In the letter it stated that the operation I had done on my heart was unsuccessful. Which considering I was on the table AWAKE for seven and a half hours with no pain relief, is a fucking blow to the teeth. My mother phoned me at college to tell me what the letter said and I just broke down in tears, I just got my life sorted out again and now I’m back to square one, I’m so scared. Sam had to leave work today because I told her on her lunch break and she went back in and her boss new instantly what happened, they hugged and Sam just broke down in tears, she phoned my in tears, I cried she cried, it was a mess. I don’t care what anyone says I’m scared of dying, I’m scared of leaving Sam behind. I used to think that I wasn’t scared of death considering jumping from 35ft and setting myself on fire doesn’t faze me, but when it comes down to it, when you are looking death straight in the eye, it is the most horrible feeling you will ever experience knowing you are a ticking time bomb.
